I Keep Going, but I Don’t Feel Present Anymore

Shaniqua Smith
5 days ago
3 min read

Updated: 3 days ago

Have you ever noticed that you’re still doing everything you’re supposed to do…But somehow, you’re not really there?

You wake up. You handle what needs to be handled. You show up for everyone. You keep going.

But inside, something feels distant.

You’re not falling apart. You’re not in crisis. You’re just… not fully present anymore.

If that’s you, I want you to know this: you’re not lazy, you’re not ungrateful, and you’re not broken.

You might be in survival mode.

When Life Becomes Something You Just Push Through

Survival mode doesn’t always look dramatic.

Sometimes it looks like:

Doing what needs to be done with no energy left over
Feeling emotionally flat
Feeling disconnected from yourself
Going through the motions without really feeling your life

You’re functioning. But you’re not fully living.

And the scary part is… You can stay here for a long time without realizing it.

I Keep Going, but I Don’t Feel Present Anymore

What Survival Mode Really Is

Survival mode is what happens when your nervous system has been under stress for too long.

It’s your body’s way of saying:

“I don’t have the capacity to process everything right now, so I’m just going to help you get through.”

So you keep moving. You keep producing. You keep showing up.

But you stop being present.

Not because you don’t care —But because your system is tired of carrying too much for too long.

“I’m Not Sad… I’m Just Not Here”

A lot of women in survival mode say things like:

“I don’t feel like myself anymore.”
“I don’t feel deeply sad, but I don’t feel much joy either.”
“I’m here… but I’m not really here.”

This isn’t a weakness. This is emotional exhaustion.

It’s what happens when you’ve been strong for too long without being restored.

Faith Doesn’t Cancel Burnout

Let me say this gently:

Loving God does not make you immune to exhaustion.

You can trust Him deeply and still be tired. You can be faithful and still be worn down. You can be spiritual and still need rest.

Sometimes we keep going because we feel like we have no other choice.

But God never called you to live numb.

The Quiet Cost of Always Being Strong

When you’re always the one holding things together…When people depend on you…When you don’t feel like you have space to fall apart…

Your body eventually says:

“I’m going to protect you by shutting some things down.”

That’s when life starts to feel muted. That’s when time passes, but you don’t feel connected to it. That’s when joy feels distant, even though nothing is technically “wrong.”

Coming Back to Yourself Happens Gently

You don’t snap out of survival mode.

You soften out of it.

It starts with:

Noticing how you actually feel
Letting yourself pause without guilt
Giving yourself permission to rest emotionally, not just physically
Letting God meet you in the quiet instead of only in productivity

You don’t need a dramatic breakdown to begin healing.

You just need honesty.

A Small Moment You Can Try Today

Take one minute today and ask yourself:

“When was the last time I actually felt present in my own life?”

Don’t judge the answer. Just notice it.

Awareness is where healing starts.

🎧 Watch the Full Episode

In this episode of the OnegirlOnegoal Podcast, I talk more about what it means to live in survival mode, why so many women are there without realizing it, and how to begin finding your way back to yourself.