How Can We Improve Communication in Our Marriage?
- Shaniqua Smith
- Apr 28
- 4 min read
Updated: May 17
Marriage is one of the most beautiful gifts God has given us, but let’s be honest, communication isn't always easy. Between busy schedules, misunderstandings, and unspoken expectations, even the best marriages can hit a rough patch. So, how can we truly improve communication in our marriage and grow closer together, as God designed?
1. Speak the Truth in Love
"But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:"(Ephesians 4:15, KJV)
One of the biggest traps in marriage is bottling up feelings or saying things harshly when emotions run high. God’s Word reminds us that truth and love must go hand in hand. Honesty is essential — but so is the tone we use.
When you're feeling upset, take a deep breath. Pray before you speak. Ask yourself: Am I speaking truth with love, or just venting frustration? A loving truth invites healing; a harsh truth can wound the heart.
2. Be Quick to Hear, Slow to Speak, Slow to Wrath
"Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:"(James 1:19, KJV)
Good communication starts with good listening. Most of us listen just enough to form our reply but real listening means seeking to understand your spouse’s heart, not just their words.
Quick to hear: Focus entirely on your spouse when they are speaking — not on your phone, not on your to-do list.
Slow to speak: Don’t rush to defend yourself or "fix" everything. Sometimes, they need your presence, not a solution.
Slow to wrath: Calm your heart before responding. Anger clouds clarity.
When you slow down and listen, you create space for connection, not conflict.
3. Let Your Words Build, Not Tear Down
"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers."(Ephesians 4:29, KJV)
God calls us to be builders in marriage, not critics. Every word you speak is either a brick or a wrecking ball. Ask yourself: Are my words lifting my spouse up, or tearing them down?
Choose encouragement over criticism. Simple words like “I appreciate you,” “I’m proud of you,” and “I’m here for you” can breathe life into a weary heart. Even during hard conversations, look for ways to affirm your love and commitment.
4. Pray Together Daily
"Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven."(Matthew 18:19, KJV)
Prayer is the ultimate means of communication, both with God and with one another. When couples pray together, hearts soften. Walls fall. Pride melts away.
Make it a habit, even if it’s just a short prayer before bed or a quick prayer over coffee. Invite God into your conversations. Ask Him to guide your words, heal misunderstandings, and deepen your love.
5. Forgive Quickly and Fully
"And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."(Ephesians 4:32, KJV)
Let’s be real, no matter how hard we try, we will sometimes hurt each other with our words. The key isn’t avoiding conflict altogether; it’s learning how to forgive quickly and thoroughly.
Bitterness is a communication killer. It clogs up the flow of love, trust, and openness. Forgiveness clears the air and makes space for honest, healing conversations.
Forgive not because they always deserve it, but because Christ forgave you.
Communication is a Ministry
Marriage isn’t just about romance; it’s about ministry. When you communicate with grace, love, patience, and prayer, you’re doing holy work. You’re reflecting Christ's love to the person God entrusted to you.
Next time a misunderstanding pops up (because it will!), pause and remember:
Speak truth with love.
Listen more than you speak.
Build up, don’t tear down.
Pray together often.
Forgive like Jesus forgave you.
When you center your marriage communication around God's Word, you’re not just solving problems — you’re building a marriage that lasts.
"Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour."(Ecclesiastes 4:9, KJV)
-(DiaryofaChristianWife Blog)
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