How Can We Keep the Romance Alive After Years of Marriage?

(Biblical Truths that Still Work)

Let’s be honest, marriage is beautiful, but it’s not always easy. After the wedding bells fade and life starts piling on bills, kids, jobs, and unexpected challenges, it’s normal to wonder: How do we keep the romance alive after all these years?

If you're feeling more like roommates than lovers lately, you’re not alone. But the good news? God’s Word gives us practical, life-giving answers to this question. Romance isn’t always about feeling butterflies; it’s about choosing love, day by day, with God at the center.

Let’s walk through a few biblical principles that will help reignite the flame in your marriage, no matter how many years you’ve been together.

1. Put Each Other First Again – Just Like You Did Before

One of the first things that fades in long-term marriages is intentionality. Remember when you used to text them just to say, “I miss you,” or dress up a little extra for date night? That’s not just early-love fluff; it’s what builds connection.

The Bible teaches us to look out for the other person, not just ourselves. That means making time for each other, planning thoughtful surprises, or simply sitting on the couch and really listening. Small actions, when done in love, keep romance blooming.

2. Speak Life Over Each Other

Words can either build bridges or burn them down. If your marriage feels distant, take a moment and ask yourself: What have I been speaking over my spouse?

Romance thrives in an atmosphere of encouragement.

Try this: Speak one compliment or blessing over your spouse each day. Whether it’s a “thank you for working so hard” or “you still take my breath away,” loving words breathe life into tired hearts.

3. Keep Pursuing Each Other

Marriage isn’t a destination; it’s a journey. The moment we stop pursuing each other, romance begins to wither.

Pursuing your spouse looks different in each season. It might be a handwritten note, a weekend getaway, a long walk, or even doing their least favorite chore to serve them. As Scripture says, husbands are called to love their wives as themselves, and wives are called to respect and honor their husbands. That mutual pursuit creates a cycle of intimacy and affection.

4. Pray Together—It Changes Everything

Praying together does something romantic that no candlelight dinner ever could it unites your hearts before God. Spiritual intimacy is the glue that keeps everything else in place.

Take five minutes a day, maybe right before bed, to pray together. It doesn’t have to be fancy or long just heartfelt. Ask God to refresh your love for each other and help you see your spouse the way He sees them.

5. Forgive Quickly, Love Deeply

Over time, little offenses can build walls between you. But God calls us to fervent love that forgives quickly and doesn’t hold onto grudges.

Romance can't thrive in resentment. If something's been lingering between you two, it may be time for a gentle, honest conversation followed by grace. Let love be louder than pride. Cover your marriage in kindness and forgiveness, just like Christ does for us.

Romance Is a Choice, Not Just a Feeling

You don’t need a fancy vacation or perfect circumstances to feel close again. You need the willingness to return to your first love and keep choosing each other with God at the center.

When we first love God, He teaches us to love our spouse more deeply. Romance in marriage isn’t a fading memory; it can be a growing fire. You have to keep feeding it.

So tonight, send that flirty text. Light the candles. Hold hands again. And whisper a prayer over your marriage. With God in it, your best years can still be ahead.

(DiaryofAChristianWife)

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